Still Fighting, for now.

It's a wonder that I haven't lost it completely. I have lost it, just not completely yet. We are hard & heavy searching for a place to live. Our time at the farm, it seems, has come and gone, and unless I can pull a miracle out of my arse and finance the place myself, I am at this point SOL. Good luck, anyhow.
We are trying to find a place that can help us to secure a mortgage so we can either A) make an offer on this place, with all it's flaws and issues or B) find a new place all together and head out. I am fine either way, but when your piggy bank is looking like this fella, most places don't want to bother with you at all.

Add to that the fact that I can't find a job to save my sorry soul, and that I have been unable to secure steady work for the past .... well, several years ... and, now I am a student, and Larry is a part time student, we'll be lucky I think, if we can find ourselves a shack in the woods. Though, I will admit, even that sounds great right about now. As long as I can keep my little boys warm, happy & fed, my husband semi-sane, and my horses near by, I will be able to breathe. I know my list is meager, really. But, I just want to cover the basics.... FAMILY, shelter, food & a means to keep Mommy sane ... 'cheap' therapy i.e. - my horses. Even with the two of them, it's cheaper than a pack of cigarettes a day, which I know many people in similar situations that smoke twice that much, and get far less satisfaction.

It's gotten rough enough, I've even applied for a job in Colorado as a farm hand. Comes with a 2 bedroom apartment. That ought to be enough, though we'd have to put college on hold, or I would have to leave the family here for a semester while I got us settled in Colorado. Don't want to do it, but I really am loosing it here, trying to find a local solution. Of course, to do that, I would have to leave my horses with my folks - at least initially. Oh, man. Why does everything have to be such a struggle all the time?