Saturday, October 10, 2009

Dirty Rotten Jerkmonger Interlopers



Seeing as it is fall - the weather is slipping into the chill side of life, the leaves are quickly changing, and the numbers of weekend interlopers have dropped off the the fall levels - which is to say, next to nothing. Another reason I love the fall.
Having started to get used to the absence of overly rude people (NOTE: Not all weekenders are so clueless, or rude, but en masse, they can be enough to make a girl say "If they call it tourist season, why can't we shoot them?") I was taken a bit off guard when tonight on my little journey to the local grocery store I ran into an unseasonably large influx of weekenders.


For reference, once Labor Day hits, there is usually a weekend or two of vacationers buttoning up their lake houses and putting in just a few more days of drunken blur. Once the temps drop, or it starts raining - they usually are totally AWOL. Which, if perfectly FINE.

I will say, there were a few people who were clearly from out of town that were quite nice in the store, though easily spotted as non-locals by their completely rushed manner of moving, speaking, and lack of patience to LOOK for anything.

On my way towards the register, I spotted them. The baby execs.... or, mini execs, whatever you prefer. Usually, they are not very intrusive travelling with a partner (though never spotted alone out here in the sticks lol) they are incredibly obtrusive when they move in flocks. Yes. I said flocks. Much like you see sparrows flying in flocks, fish in schools, and the Verizon wireless guy with his network. They easily blend in while in their native environment of places like ... 'Chicago' or the far off 'New York'. Here, well, they stick out. Picture if you will: Nice looking, clean cut, manicured, sweatervest wearing, pressed slacks & sunglasses. Now, add to it: one hand with their already paid for order (though now standing on the wrong side of the registers because someone was slow, and they can't wait for them - because they travel in flocks.)and the other texting madly on blackberries. OK. There's the look. Got it? Good.

So, I head into the checkout lane, and reach into my cart to pull out the first of many things in my cart. Literally, the second my first item hits the conveyor, they unload their whole order within a few inches of what I was starting to lay out. WTF? Well, you know me. That won't fly.

I stopped. Turned around and in a very calm but very Kimi tone I say 'Do you have any respect for anyone else's personal space, or are you just an ass to everyone around you all the time???' Well, he started to say something about thinking I was done or some lame shit, and I let him have it with both barrels. I know that this was not something to blow about, but ya know, consideration is not high on these people's list of things to do before they die, which, may happen much sooner if they keep pissing off the locals. I'm just sayin'. We put up with the drunken idiocy all summer long. We pull their asses out of the fire when they need it - without thanks or being asked most of the time - but, when they start standing in your back pocket while you're in line, and expect you to rush because they have no patience? Oh, hell no. I do not have the internal censoring service that 99% of the population does. Nope. Sorry. That's what happens. So, there's my rant for now. Beware. Mind your manners, or I'll getcha.

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