To me, the snuggly, super cuddly, schmoozing around, purring in your face kind of cat is the feline equivalent of the Stepford Wives.
I like a cat that cannot pass my patented psycho kitty test.
A cat that is cheeky enough to catch mice by carrying them around like a prize after they've met their fate in a snap trap, mousetrap & all.
A cat that will try to attack the feet of my sisters should they choose to visit or nap on the couch, and with luck and sass, wrap its forearms around it's 'prey' and kick like hell with it's back feet.
A cat that will take on the dog & ride on a horse, but not pee on my hay.
One that is bold enough to take on a pack of wild raccoons and come out on top.
One that is tough enough to ride stray dogs like a rodeo bullrider, but gentle enough to let the kids cart them around like a rag doll.
A cat that doesn't need a litter box in the house because it's smart enough to ask to go outside, and wise enough to come back in when I call it.
But, sadly, no such cat exists. Mostly because I have wrapped up all the best qualities of cats past that we have loved in our family.
Rodeo Roda - who rode her first stray dog on a whim after jumping off the back porch onto said dog's back as it passed under her, and as a result, cleared our yard of any stray dogs.
Snickelfritz, the little black cat that DAD brought home, having found it when someone threw a litter in a burlap sack out the window of a pick up truck.
The legendary Sam-I-AM the half siamese that ended up with only one canine tooth after being hit by a car, and loved to flash it at strangers as a warning.
But, even if I found another legendary personality, it would be for naught. You see, my darling husband is deathly allergic to cats. It makes me sad. I would have him get regular allergy shots if we had the insurance & money to do so, just to have a psychotic & loveable feline around for my personal entertainment. But, we don't. So I can't look too hard.
It makes it that much harder though when I am caring for these little boogers every day though.
Yep. Kittehs. We have 'em. We can't keep 'em. Partly because of the hubster's allergy, and partly because not a single ONE of these little fur balls have what it takes to really capture my heart.
Not ONE of them even paid attention during the psycho kitty test. That means ALL of them have the potential to be lovers.
But for the rest of the population, it's a good thing I'm told. A sweet cat that will purr and lounge and NOT run around the house at 3 am with it's claws out so you can hear them ascend the stairs at warp factor 9.
I just don't understand that kind of cat. There is no adventure there. But there is lots of love.
So, if you are lookin' fo loove, and like the snuggly-wuggly kind of kitteh, let me know. I can totally hook you up.