Sunday, March 27, 2011

31 Days ---- Day 13 ... no, wait .... 14.

Day 14, well. I'm skipping that one. It's supposed to be a pic of someone you can't imagine your life without, but I'm already living that with Gramma gone, and I don't want to jinx anyone else that I love.
Day 15 is something I'd like to do before I die, and I 'll give you 3 off of my bucket list. 2 kinda go hand in hand though ... like they could be done on the same voyage. I hope.

I'd like to do a Norwegian or Icelandic fjord crossing at low tide on horseback. This isn't the pic of the dream vacation, the dream vacation involved 2 horses for the day of riding b/c the 1st would get tired. You ride one horse across the fjord at low tide, ponying the 2nd along, swimming where needed, then picnic, trailride & enjoy the scenery before galloping back on the 2nd one. Sounds like FUN to me!!!

Cattle drive. Oh yeah. Sounds fun - pay someone else to do their work for them. But, I'd try it once anyhow.

And finally, visit the family that is still in Eslöv, explore the country side that my family came from, breathe in the farmland air over there .... and find my roots.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

How do you wish to Sparkle?

Jamie Ridler over at Jamie Ridler Studios asks today: How do you wish to Sparkle?

WELL. That is a loaded question, Ms. Jamie.
I wish so many things to help me to sparkle. SO SO many things. Feelings, really.

I wish to sparkle by both losing weight, and loving my body more - accepting what I can't change all the while, fighting like hell to change it anyhow.

I wish to sparkle by being the most incredible, supportive mother to my kids that they need me to be.

I wish to sparkle by supporting my husband in his dream to go into law enforcement, though it scares the tar out of me.

And, for my self .... I wish to sparkle by having more time to myself this year to do what makes my heart sing the best.

I sparkle when I ride. I sparkle when my heart beats in tune with my mare's, as I give her free rein and total trust to run with me as her precious cargo, guiding her gently without force, pain or fear.
I sparkle when we fly together, when we rest together, and when we unwind together.

And I wish for a means for the finances so that I can share that sparkle with others by teaching them about my most kindred animals. Teaching others to fly on horseback, to trust their mounts, and to dance with their horses.

That's how I wish to sparkle.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

31 Day thingy ... Day 13

A picture of your favorite band/artist.

Paul Stanley of Kiss, of course. OF COURSE!

P!nk is one of my favorites as of late. She's sassy. I like that.

Trent Reznor. His music rocks me. Oh, and he's a stone cold hottie too.

Brooks & Dunn are on my country picks. Awesome.

George Strait is also on the top of my country picks. He's a classic.

And artists ... well, so I take things literally.

One of my favorites of Vincent VanGogh. "A Night on the Rhone"

AND, Dale Chihuly is a freakin' glass genius. I AM going to learn how to blow glass. I mean come on. The stuff he has that is pure glass is incredible, but when he mixes it in with natural surroundings? Breathtaking.

31 Days ..... still

A picture of something you LOVE. It would be redundant to post up family pics or even horse pics here, because, well .... that's a given. So, here are some details.

I love ALL flowers. This actually isn't too far from what Gramma's funeral spray looked like.

I love the UP. ALL of it, but the west & central areas especially.

I love riding my horse on the beach ... though there are not many places where that is permittable anymore. Shame.

I love me my black bears. They are truly my brothers & sisters.

I love my anniversary present from the hubster. I have looked for this, or one like it for nearly 15 years, so I am thrilled. It's about 2 inches long. So, it a big ol' honkin' moonstone. Cleansed under the super moon, a-thankya very much. Oh, and it is THAT particular pendant. The place makes only custom one of a kind pieces. That one there .... that's mine now. I have it on. It's good.

I would apologize for so many pics, and so much explanation, but I won't. It's not like me. If one pic is worth a thousand words, thoughts or feelings, well .... this is a step better.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Day 11 of the Picture Thing

A picture of something you hate.

Chicago. I freakin' hate Chicago. And, most of the trash that comes out of it..... largely people like this:

Spoiled jackasses that think the world owes them just because they were born.
I'm sure if I lived closer to the east side of the state, it would be Detroit that was the bullseye of my hatred, but I am on the west coast of Michigan, living in the dead center of FIP (F*cking Illinois/Indiana People) vacation territory. Basically that means every weekend all summer long, our area ... our peaceful farm land area ... is invaded by loud mouthed, drunken jerks that park in 2 spaces at a time at the grocery store, cut you off on the road, then slam on the brakes, talk down about the locals and do all that they can to screw you over.

I say this from experience. My family's building business has suffered more at the hands of true FIPS than anything else. They act like you are a blessing, then try to get the whole job done for peanuts - seemingly forgetting that this is how we make a living. It's not a hobby - it's our livelihood. They just don't get that. We're stupid locals to them and we should be paying them for us to work our asses off on their deck, or shed or garage, or addition or whatever. JACKASSERY.

** disclaimer*** I will admit, not all people from Illinois/Indiana are FIPS. There are a handful of people that I truly love from Chicago. (You know who you are .... and you know the kind of people I'm talking about here too, so don't take offense if it doesn't apply) It's just that it's like finding a diamond in a box full of cut glass & zirconium. So rare, and hard to ferret out, while all the true fakes, losers & FIPS are doing their damndest to look like they are the precious stone.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Day 10 of 31 Days of Pictures

A picture of the person you do the craziest things with.

Well, by sheer volume, and to get away from blood family -- Jennie wins. Although, there are a number of people I really enjoy doing crazy things with. Mom, Dona, Nikki, Jenn (different Jen - she knows who she be), Deanna, Beeg Seester, Leetle Seester, Larry - sometimes, and Daddy & I are completely obnoxious & unstoppable when we get on the same wavelength & get to picking on something/one. I will only elaborate by saying that the twin towers were not just buildings in New York that eventually fell.
I guess I am just one that likes to be silly. And, I enjoy the people that I surround myself with.
I would also like to spend much more silly time with those that I love. We all collectively deserve it.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

A Break In the Picture Challenge. Good News & Bad

A break was required. So, I guess I failed the 31 day picture challenge. Boo. That's OK. I have good reason. Good news, and bad news.

First, the bad news, so I have a way to look up.

At the very tail end of February, my Grandmother, as pictured in the post immediately before this one, had a massive heart attack, followed by a very abbreviated stay in the hospital. Abbreviated, because she refused any and all invasive treatments. Basically, if it wasn't treatable with medication, she wanted no part of it.
So, she went onto hospice, and came back to my folks house. That was on Sunday. She passed away early the following Friday morning.
So, I have been trying to grieve. And not doing such a great job at it. Partly because, well ... she lived and died the way she wanted to. She was 89/90 depending on what record you believe.
I had to keep it together. For the family. And, for myself. You see, I pushed myself to try and speak at her funeral last Monday.
And, I did it.
Kind of. I did speak, though not eloquently, and not to the degree that her memory deserved, but I gave it my best shot, and did well enough .... until I spotted her coffin. I lost my voice, and my composure.
But, not one other person in the church that knew her could even try, so I think I did well enough.
God bless you, Gram. I know you're OK now. I know your wait to see Grampa Clyde is over, and you're together again. And, that 51 year wait to see your firstborn son is over now too. The three of you are back together, and I promise I will do my best to keep mom & dad happy enough.

Now, the Good news, and ironically, something that I would like to think Gramma would have been proud of me for.

I spoke out.

I spoke out against violence on women. Actually, I did this months ago, but now it's my turn to be featured on THE most incredible blogs I have had the pleasure to read.

I heard from MaggieDammit - the genius behind Violence Unsilenced that it was my turn.

I am honored to be a part of this incredible movement. Maggie is inspirational, as are all of the folks that have been guest speakers/authors/survivors on Violence Unsilenced.

Now, I will try to warn you that although I do not have as terrifying or heartbreaking a story it is still an insight as to WHY I am the way I am. It was certainly a pivotal moment in my childhood that I can't quite get out of my head. It was a moment in time that damaged the way I view men that aren't part of my family. But, it's also a moment that I constantly remind myself of .... that it could have been worse. It could have been horrible.

Please, support the brave souls that speak out, and back them up. Even a few kind words can be all the difference.